


candy, costumes, and chaos

by N_Is_For_Knowledge



Series: the association of dumbassery [3]
Category: All the Wrong Questions - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Fictober 2020, Gen, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Texting, i know halloween ended weeks ago but will that stop me? no, its a modern au but i have decided that they're all wearing their canon clothes, kellar's marine biology hyperfixation is too niche for the rest of the aoa, lemony being theatre kid on main, why? because it adds to the crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:03:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27631796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N_Is_For_Knowledge/pseuds/N_Is_For_Knowledge
Summary: "origaymi: FUCKforce of courage: what is it?origaymi: I CANT BELIEVE HALLOWEENS IN LIKE A WEEK AND WE HAVENT CHANGED THE CHAT NAME"The Association holds a Halloween movie night, Ornette resurrects a dead meme, and Squeak forgets the days of the week.
Relationships: Jake Hix/Cleo Knight, the entire aoa but im not tagging them all
Series: the association of dumbassery [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586047
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	candy, costumes, and chaos

**Author's Note:**

> a fictober fic weeks after the end of fictober and a halloween fic weeks after the end of halloween. what else did you expect from me?
> 
> this is for prompts 20 ("did i ask?") and 24 ("are you kidding me?")
> 
> usernames:  
> Lemony: Grammatically Correct Lemon  
> Ornette: origaymi  
> Moxie: force of courage  
> Squeak: smol fucker  
> Pip: slightly larger fucker  
> Kellar: I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR  
> Jake: the Sane One  
> Cleo: Better Than Any Of You  
> Ellington: shut up all of you

**|The Association Of Dumb Names|**

_ October 1st, 7:10 AM _

**_slightly larger fucker:_** HAPPY HALLOWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** It’s October 1st.

**_origaymi:_ ** HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEN

**_smol fucker:_ ** THIS IS HALLOWEEN EVERYONE MAKE A SCENE

**_the Sane One:_ ** HALLOWEEN

**_force of courage:_ ** HALLOWEEN

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** HALLOWEEN

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** HALLOWEEN

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Do you guys do anything for Halloween? Do you trick-or-treat or something?

**_origaymi:_ ** bitch we don’t have enough houses to trick-or-treat to

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Back home, we usually all just sat in a dorm and watched Addams Family Values together.

**_force of courage:_ ** i mean we usually do smth like that

**_the Sane One:_ ** we wear ridiculous costumes and bring candy and we all eat it while watching scary movies

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** it’s the best

**_shut up all of you:_ ** stop making me feel jealous of y’all

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** oh shit ellington im so sorry i almost forgot you can’t come since you’re in jail

**_shut up all of you:_ ** i mean

**_shut up all of you:_ ** ive been planning an escape for a while

**_shut up all of you:_ ** but if i get out i have to get back in quickly or risk another manhunt

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** ANOTHER manhunt??

**_shut up all of you:_ ** long story

**_shut up all of you:_ ** i was thinking maybe i’d do it for pride

**_shut up all of you:_ ** but pride’s already over and by next year i’ll probably already have been shipped off to the city on charges of i don’t even know what

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** I believe they were charges of fraud and destruction of property.

**_shut up all of you:_ ** did i ask you snicket? no i did not

**_shut up all of you:_ ** so maybe i can sneak out for halloween and steal a costume or something

**_origaymi:_ ** ellington why

**_shut up all of you:_ ** i’m doing the time, might as well actually do the crime

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Ellington, that is not how that works.

**_shut up all of you:_ ** how do you know its not

**_shut up all of you:_ ** have YOU ever been arrested

_ October 13, 4:18 PM _

**_smol fucker:_ ** happy friday the 13th!!!!!!!!

**_force of courage:_ ** squeak i don’t know how to tell u this but

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** squeak it’s TUESDAY wtf

**_smol fucker:_ ** :(

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** T U E S D A Y

**_force of courage:_ ** im gonna doe

**_smol fucker:_ ** doe

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** doe

**_shut up all of you:_ ** doe

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** “doe” [sic]

**_origaymi:_ ** doe

**_the Sane One:_ ** doe

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** GET HER ASS

_ October 22, 7:12 PM _

**_the Sane One:_ ** hey what are y’all doin rn

**_force of courage:_ ** working on my costume

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** What is it? Could you tell us?

**_force of courage:_ ** no <3

**_origaymi:_ ** FUCK

**_force of courage:_ ** what is it?

**_origaymi:_ ** I CANT BELIEVE HALLOWEENS IN LIKE A WEEK AND WE HAVENT CHANGED THE CHAT NAME

_ ( _ **_origaymi_ ** _ renamed  _ **_The Association of Dumb Names_ ** _ to  _ **_The Association of Spookyness_ ** _ ) _

**_origaymi:_ ** THERE MUCH BETTER

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** hey moxie

**_force of courage:_ ** what?

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** do you happen to have around 80 pink balloons

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** but not the normal kind the tubey kind

**_force of courage:_ ** like the kind people use for balloon animals?

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** YEAH LIKE THAT

**_force of courage:_ ** no i dont

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** You could always just get them from Palloncino’s.

**_force of courage:_ ** lemony palloncinos closed last week

**_the Sane One:_ ** i always kind of saw it coming. how many people in stain’d are going to buy balloons?

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** at partial foods rn and they have them don’t worry kellar

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** oh thank fuck

_ October 31, 11:35 AM _

**_the Sane One:_ ** everyone ready with their costumes?

**_shut up all of you:_ ** yeah

**_force of courage:_ ** yeah!

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** just finishing it rn

**_force of courage:_ ** dude what the hell

**_force of courage:_ ** why are you finishing your costume the day of

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** shut up im just bad at planning

**_origaymi:_ ** yeah im ready!

**_origaymi:_ ** i know we’re supposed to keep it a surprise until we get together but i just had to share

**_origaymi:_ ** _ [A picture of Ornette dressed up as Kermit the frog. She is drinking tea out of a glass. A sign that reads “but that’s none of my business” in Impact font hangs around her neck.] _

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** what

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** So, Ornette, you not only dressed up as a meme…

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** You also dressed up as a dead meme?

**_origaymi:_ ** it’s alive in my HEART okay

**_the Sane One:_ ** nette are u going to bring that tea cup with u to my place?

**_origaymi:_ ** yep

**_slightly larger fucker:_ ** why

**_origaymi:_ ** because i can :P

_ October 31, 6:12 PM _

**_the Sane One:_ ** larigt its time for halloween! everyone come on

**_force of courage:_ ** larigt

**_the Sane One:_ ** Stop

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** i might take a while

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** mox can you come help me with my costume

**_force of courage:_ ** sure im coming rn

**_shut up all of you:_ ** IM OUT

**_shut up all of you:_ ** SWEET FREEDOM

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** ell i completely forgot you were escaping for halloween

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** why didn’t you tell us when you started?

**_shut up all of you:_ ** well im SORRY i didn’t liveblog my ESCAPE FROM PRISON, CLEO

**_shut up all of you:_ ** bad news: at partial foods and they put up security cameras now

**_shut up all of you:_ ** can’t grab a costume and go

**_the Sane One:_ ** well, at least the inhumane society won’t be able to steal any more melons

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** They’ll probably just drug Polly Partial (which they’ve already been doing), steal the melons, and then wipe the footage from the security cameras. They’re not amateurs.

**_shut up all of you:_ ** shut up debbie downer

_ ( _ **_shut up all of you_ ** _ changed  _ **_Grammatically Correct Lemon_ ** _ ’s nickname to  _ **_debbie downer_ ** _ ) _

**_debbie downer:_ ** Under any other circumstances I’d tolerate this, but I’ve actually grown quite fond of my nickname.

_ ( _ **_debbie downer_ ** _ changed their nickname to  _ **_Grammatically Correct Lemon_ ** _ ) _

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** I’m starting the trek to Hungry’s. Please don’t blow up the chat while I’m gone.

**_the Sane One:_ ** snicket it’s not a “”trek”” the lost arms is like a few feet away

**_shut up all of you:_ ** ok so no costume

**_shut up all of you:_ ** maybe i’ll be like those assholes that say they’re dressed up as themselves

**_shut up all of you:_ ** WAIT I HAVE A BETTER IDEA

**_shut up all of you:_ ** im gonna be a homicidal maniac

**_the Sane One:_ ** with fake blood and shit? I’m p sure I still have some pizza sauce

**_shut up all of you:_ ** no have none of you watched addams family 1991

**_the Sane One:_ ** ...no

**_shut up all of you:_ ** they look just like everyone else

**_origaymi:_ ** im here!!

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** wow… you really Did bring the glass of tea

**_origaymi:_ ** thats none of my business

**_force of courage:_ ** can’t believe ornette singlehandedly resurrected a dead meme

**_origaymi:_ ** oh you BETTER believe it

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** FUCK ONE OF THE BALLOONS POPPED

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** i was on my way but now ive gotta walk back home and put a new one

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** BY HOME I MEAN THE LIGHTHOUSE SORRY

**_slightly larger fucker:_ ** why the fuck were you walking from the lighthouse to hungry’s

**_slightly larger fucker:_ ** we’ll drop you

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** thanks

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** I’m here!

**_origaymi:_ ** why did you feel the need to announce your presence via text

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** It was so that Jake would let me into the room.

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** snicket 

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** you’re not even wearing a costume

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** This is my costume!

**_force of courage:_ ** so what are you then

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** I’m a homicidal maniac!

**_shut up all of you:_ ** thEY LOOK JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** They look just like everyone else.

**_force of courage_ ** : shut up l&ell we know you’ve watched addams family

**_the Sane One:_ ** lemony, ellington already did “homicidal maniac”. go back to the lost arms and change.

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** It’s… a group costume!

**_the Sane One:_ ** no its not stop lying

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Fine, I’m leaving.

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** So, Moxie, what are you going as?

**_force of courage:_ ** a velociraptor

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** No, actually.

**_force of courage:_ ** no im actually a velociraptor

**_force of courage:_** _[A selfie of a disturbingly realistic velociraptor costume, with multicolored feathers taped on. If one looks closely, they can see Moxie’s eyes hiding behind translucent velociraptor eyes.]_

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Why?

**_force of courage:_ ** why tf not

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** I HAVE ARRIVED THANKS PIP AND SQUEAK

**_shut up all of you:_ ** what the fuck are you

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** that is a lot of balloons

**_origaymi:_ ** let me immortalize kellar’s stupid-ass costume in this chat forever

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Bold of you to assume this chat will exist forever.

**_origaymi:_ ** shut up snicket it’s immortal. like this weird-ass friend group

**_origaymi:_ ** _ [A picture of Kellar. Long, pink balloons stick out from every part of him, making him look like a very spiky pink bush. A Nemo toy is nestled into his hair.] _

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** im a sea anemone!

**_force of courage:_ ** a what

**_shut up all of you:_ ** wtf

**_origaymi:_ ** tf is that

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** …

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** does no one here know anything about marine life

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Oh, a sea anemone! What the clownfish lived in in Finding Nemo, right?

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** how did none of you know what a sea anemone is

**_the Sane One:_ ** shut up i know what a sea anemone is but im getting into m costume rn

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** I can’t wait to see how the burrito costume looks!

**_the Sane One:_ ** lemony

**_the Sane One:_ ** how did you know im dressing up as a burrito

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** I… may have snuck into Hungry’s to make myself breakfast and saw the half-finished costume draped across one of the booths.

**_the Sane One:_ ** i open up early why were you sneaking in

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** It was around 4 in the morning. I was hungry.

**_the Sane One:_ ** dude i swear you have the weirdest sleep schedule i’ve ever seen

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** i’d argue i have a weirder sleep schedule

**_the Sane One:_ ** i love you cleo but now is not the time to argue which of us has the weirdest sleep schedule

**_the Sane One:_ ** also you look stunning

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** that’s an exaggeration. also why are you texting me we’re in the same room

**_the Sane One:_ ** it’s really not also im too stunned to speak so im texting

**_origaymi:_ ** dude i want whatever jake and cleo have

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** I feel like throwing up a little, but me too.

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** for the record, i like how you used all that leftover aluminum foil from back when hungry’s used to do takeout

**_the Sane One:_ ** <3 <3 <3

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Enough with the love-fest, Jake. I’m back, and I am wearing a costume. Please let me in.

**_the Sane One:_ ** didn’t you say that “i’d never make fun of a man’s romantic life”

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** You’re not exactly a man. You’re only 15. 

**_the Sane One:_ ** only??? you’re twelve

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Don’t desert us children to go suffer through small talk with the adults.

**_force of courage_ ** : stop arguing about age WHY ARE YOU STILL WEARING YOUR NORMAL CLOTHES

**_origaymi:_ ** snicket are you KIDDING ME WHAT THE HELL

**_the Sane One:_ ** give him some slack at least he… took off his jacket

**_the Sane One:_ ** at least he put a small amount of effort in

**_force of courage:_ ** lemony ARE THOSE OLD COPIES OF THE STAIND LIGHTHOUSE I SWEAR GIVE THOSE TO ME RIGHT NOW

**_force of courage:_ ** IF THOSE GET STAINED OR TORN IM HITTING YOU WITH MY TYPEWRITER

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** I’m a Newsie.

**_force of courage:_ ** what

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Come on, Moxie, a Newsie? From the Broadway musical Newsies?

**_force of courage:_ ** still not ringing a bell

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** “We’ll all be out there, carrying the banner man to man”? 

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** shut up snicket we already know you’re a theatre kid

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** kjhsasdfgh tho literally the first thing i thought when i first met you was “why does his hat look like the newsie hat”

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Kellar, you don’t get to insult me for being a theatre kid when you’re clearly one too.

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** no it’s not me! my 

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** uh

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** my sister

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** she had this big newsies phase when i was like ten

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Oh.

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Well, then, I apologize for making you bring up an uncomfortable topic.

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** hey it’s ok don’t worry

**_force of courage:_ ** dude jake and cleo are so cute come look at them

**_origaymi:_ ** is that a couple costume

**_shut up all of you:_ ** most couples who do couple costumes are not valid but i will make an exception 

**_the Sane One:_ ** it is! im dinner she’s dessert

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** im ice cream

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** cookies and cream ice cream specifically because 1. it slaps 2. im the last knight in staind-by-the-sea i might as well preserve the color scheme

**_slightly larger fucker:_ ** you like cookies and cream ice cream? what is wrong with you

**_the Sane One:_ ** pip! hi!

**_slightly larger fucker:_ ** squeak says that oreos are great but cookies and cream ice cream is not

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** pip are you sitting on squeak’s shoulders he’s like eight is that a good idea

**_slightly larger fucker:_ ** squeak says he’s fine

**_smol fucker:_ ** im not fine

**_origaymi:_ ** so let me get this straight

**_origaymi:_ ** or as straight as we can make it in such a gay gc

**_origaymi:_ ** pip and squeak dressed up as

**_origaymi:_ ** a really tall guy in a trenchcoat

**_slightly larger fucker:_ ** yep!

**_smol fucker:_ ** pip smacked his head on the doorframe approximately 6 times

**_slightly larger fucker:_ ** no i did not

**_smol fucker:_ ** YES YOU DID

**_the Sane One:_ ** shut up i got the candy

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Do you have Milky Way?

**_the Sane One:_ ** yes we have milky way. we also have starburst, snickers, twix, lollipops, hershey’s, and tootsie rolls because ellington apparently likes them

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** YOU LIKE TOOTSIE ROLLS THEYRE DISGUSTING 

**_shut up all of you:_ ** wdym they’re great

**_force of courage:_ ** yeah kellar tootsie rolls slap

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Moxie, I can’t believe we have to stop being friends.

**_force of courage:_ ** do you not like tootsie rolls?

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** They taste like sadness and someone’s terrible recreation of chocolate that they had made without having ever tasted it. Why would I like them?

**_force of courage:_ ** why do you have ridiculously strong opinions on every food ever

**_force of courage:_ ** like i don’t like honeydew melons either but i don’t shout it to the rooftops every morning

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** ok everyone shut the fuck up we’re getting the cd for the movie

**_shut up all of you:_ ** oooh is it coraline please be coraline

**_origaymi:_ ** please don’t be coraline that movie gave me nightmares

**_force of courage:_ ** i personally hope its hocus pocus

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** oh hocus pocus is SO GOOD

**_the Sane One:_ ** it’s the grinch. the 2018 film to be exact

**_force of courage:_ ** WHAT

**_origaymi:_ ** NO

**_shut up all of you:_ ** I BROKE OUT OF JAIL FOR THIS

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** Jake, it’s October! It’s not time for the socially-enforced capitalist version of Christmas spirit yet!

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** jhgfdsdfghjhgghj

**_the Sane One:_ ** im kidding im kidding! we’re watching the nightmare before christmas

**_force of courage:_ ** oh HELL YEAH

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** shut up shut up it’s starting

**_force of courage:_ ** okok

**_force of courage:_ ** boys and girls of every age

**_shut up all of you:_ ** wouldn’t you like to see something strange

**_origaymi:_ ** come with us and you will see

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** i thought i said shut up

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** this our town of halloween

**_force of courage:_ ** you shut up kellar

**_the Sane One:_ ** tHIS IS HALLOWEEN

**_Grammatically Correct Lemon:_ ** This is Halloween!

**_shut up all of you:_ ** PUMPKINS SCREAM IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT

**_origaymi:_ ** PUMPKINS SCREAM IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT

**_I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:_ ** THIS IS HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY MAKE A SCENE

**_Better Than Any Of You:_ ** TRICK OR TREAT

**_force of courage:_ ** TILL THE NEIGHBORS COME AND DIE OF FRIGHT

**_force of courage:_ ** WOOOOOOOOOO


End file.
